realniggaannouncements:

I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion  

(via goldhair-and-lightning)

ladynecro:

my friend has black hair and the initials PM while her boyfriend has blonde hair and the initials AM and she told me that they joke that theyre ‘as different as night and day’ and i fell on the floor that shit was so adorable

(via no-satan-dats-gay)

percypan:

THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45

(via pretend-perfect)

"Drunk text me. I want
to be the one you think of
when you can’t think straight."
- "Drunk Texts are Flattering" by Claire Luisa (via claire-luisa)

(via pretend-perfect)

aieon:

It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.

(via pretend-perfect)